In Honor of...

Memorial Day is such a mixed bag on the American cultural horizon. For most, it's a great holiday, the unofficial start of summer. The day it's acceptable to start wearing white again.

For some very special families, however, the term "Memorial Day" reverts to its original meaning: the day for recognizing those very brave men and women who lost their lives in the service of our great country.

In the course of my work advocating on behalf of families with infertility, I've become acutely aware of how this disease affects military families in such unique ways.  In honor of the very special people who have dedicated - and lost - their lives to protect our freedoms and for those who have survived, only to try and start to live normal lives, I share these stories.

While my then-husband and I were struggling with our efforts to have a baby, I met a woman with a unique issue. She and her husband had desperately wanted to become parents, and while in training, he had an accident that resulted in his death. Fast thinking medical personnel, knowing of their dreams, retrieved his sperm in a timely manner, preserving it for her attempts to become a mom to her husband's child.  Unfortunately, military coverage for reproductive treatment being deplorable, and unable to treat her issues, that dream didn't happen for her. Since then, I have been working with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association on legislation to improve access to treatment for military families.

A few months ago, I spoke with Meredith Beck, who works for the Bob Woodruff Foundation.  The Foundation was named for, and started by, the ABC reporter who suffered a brain injury in Iraq and provides grants for post 9-11 injured warriors working in Iraq.  She previously worked at Wounded Warriors.

As we all know far too well, people suffering from infertility feel alone and think they are the first ones to experience it.  For vets, it's no different, and goes to the essence of how they feel about themselves post-injury.

I asked Meredith to tell me some of the stories of vets she encountered and she was happy to comply.

After being shot by a sniper in Iraq, Matt became a quadriplegic and wouldn't be able to have children without Assisted Reproductive Techonology.  Tracy, his wife, was on the fence on how she felt about infertility treatment. But Tracy said "that sniper took everything from me, they can't take a family." And paid for infertility out of the funds they received from Traumatic Members Group Life Insurance.  Although the money is intended to pay for immediate expenses upon injury, for bringing family to bedside, Matt and Tracy wisely allocated the funds to preserve resources for the treatment of Matt's infertility, enabling them to become parents.  Tracy says that Matt is an amazing father, even from a wheelchair.

Tricare (military health insurance) regulations around infertility are confusing to everyone.  Few people understand how the legal, religious and emotional details affect members and veterans of the military.  No one knows exactly what benefit is available to whom and when. I am proud that RESOLVE is helping to figure it out and educate what the Department of Defense system can do and what should be made available. Because of all of the advocacy we have devoted to this issue, language was included in the 2015 Defense Authorization Bill to provide that Tricare will now pay for fertility services (IVF) for those on active duty, but once service members leave active duty, it will not pay for "medically retired people". 

As we've heard about on CNN and other news sources, service members are dangerously at risk from "Improvised Explosive Devices" (IEDs). Once hit by an IED, a soldier gets "medically retired" pretty quickly, so they would have to use the benefit immediately while in the hospital.  Imagine waking up in a hospital after being blown to bits - do you think that your first words will be "Extract my sperm, NOW!"?  (I wonder if we should make medical bracelets for these men, like for hemophiliacs, Jehovah's Witnesses or allergies.)  Meredith told me a horrifying story of another soldier, serving with a British group when he was injured. The British policy is to automatically extract sperm from a soldier injured in the relevant area, but, shamefully, it's not the American policy.  The Brits thought he was British, and while in the field hospital were about to extract, when they discovered that he was American.  So they didn't extract his sperm and he forever lost the opportunity to have children with his own DNA.  "If they don't decide at that exact moment to extract, he loses it," Meredith said.   "The excuse is that it's not life saving, but there are decisions made for quality of life.  We have the ability to make them whole, why not do it?" 

We are all too familiar with the awful conditions that existed for returning service members from the Viet Nam War...how they were vilified by society, how many ended up out on the streets, handicapped and unhireable...  In mental institutions, homeless shelters, or worse, in prison.  The Department of Defense has been committed to not letting these conditions recur for veterans of more recent wars.  "The goal is to successfully transition service members or veterans to the community, with the highest quality of life possible," Meredith said.

If that's the case, then the military has an obligation, Meredith pointed out, to provide the best tools for successful transitioning.  Another story she shared was about a man with uro-genital trauma from an IED in Afghanistan.  He's not married nor in a relationship, but is acutely aware that for the rest of his life, he has to tell women that he can't provide children. Twenty two members of the military are committing suicide each day.  Sex, children and intimacy are huge portions of forming meaningful relationships.  If Tricare doesn't cover treatment, and if the Veterans Administration continues its ban on providing in vitro fertilization treatment in VA facilities, how can we hope that service members will be successfully transitioned?

With the advice and cooperation of RESOLVE, Senator Patty Murray recently introduced The Women Veterans and Families Health Services Act of 2015 (S. 469), which will provide, among other things, coverage for veterans injured in the line of duty for medically necessary infertility treatment.  Additionally, it will provide for cryo-preserving sperm and eggs for service members before they are deployed.  And just a few weeks ago, Rep Jeff Miller introduced HR 2257, to improve access to reproductive treatment (IVF) for disabled veterans (that is, lift the ban on IVF at VA facilities).

Military families deserve our help and support, not only as memories, but for their future.  They deserve this long overdue legislation.  In honor of this holiday weekend most of us enjoyed with beaches and barbecues, please ask your elected representatives to support this critical legislation.

PS After I wrote this, I learned that The Washington Post covered the proposed legislation over the weekend. 

This is great news.  Although the House legislation, introduced by Chairman of the Veterans Affairs Committee doesn't go as far as the Senate bill, it is still a great step forward and would help so many military families.  Baby steps....

Click here for article.